Feeling lost and forgotten. Do I mean so little? I try to be upbeat about things every day, that everything is going to work out, but there are moments when it just seems like it is never going to get better, this floating will never fucking end…
As I was walking down the street yesterday, I passed by an art gallery that I had been in years ago, and had been so taken with the etchings of a particular artist that I took a card with the gallery’s info, along with the artist’s. I’d forgotten about it entirely, and then yesterday, there it was, with the same artist’s work in the window.
Alexander Befelein is extremely talented, and creates incredible landscapes of places people love.
Check out more of Alexander Befelein’s work here: Gallery 71
Today I went to see Rupa and the April Fishes play. They are this great band that can’t really be classified. But their music is great, and so was the concert. You can check them out here: The April Fishes.
It was an outdoor concert, and unfortunately halfway through, the sky started getting scary looking:
and then the sky opened up, complete with sky to ground lightening, so the show was cut short. It may have started up again after the storm subsided, but my friend and I didn’t stick around to see.
On the up side, I found out the secret to perfectly wavy hair a la Gwen and Charleze this season: blowdry your hair, get caught in the rain during a concert, walk through a park, let dry while drinking wine outside a cafe. Voila!
Instead of hanging around the park in the rain, we walked to Uva, and split a cheese plate with dried and candied fruits and bread, and a bottle of white wine:
Yes, that’s right, I am officially off the cleanse. I don’t own a scale, so I had to go elsewhere to weigh myself, but when I did yesterday, I was really surprised. Unlike what I’d thought in previous posts, I’d actually lost what I think is an alarming amount of weight for such a short amount of time. I suppose most people would be jumping for joy, but I’m happy as I am. Plus, this was never supposed to be a diet, so I hadn’t started a workout routine, and now I’m feeling all flabby. Dammit. Now I have to exercise. ICK.
Today was the first day I was officially off the thing, and I have to say, after eating all that stuff today, seven hours later I am still feeling weird, kind of… drunk.
I’m going to eat some fruit. Damn you, Kathy Freston.
Wow. I’m in the middle of day 9 of this thing. I have gone 8 days. It feels like FOREVER. I want prosciutto. And cheese. With figs. I can have figs, but why? What is the point without the prosciutto? Sigh….
…because that is not what these people are offering.
While perusing the fabulousness of Craigslist, which is not unlike walking through the city at a certain hour– just keep moving, and don’t look too closely at anything that seems like it might be disturbing, it probably is– I keep coming across this “job” posting for surrogates. Yes, as in, hey carry my baby.
Now, we have all weighed the seriousness and complications of this through the sagas of All My Children, and Friends, and most recently, the timeless classic, Baby Mama with TIna Fey and Amy Poeler. However, unlike the fabulous lifestyle, gianormous checks, and oh yes, health care, Amy’s character gets from Tina’s, these people are offering, wait for it, a whopping $22-30k for the WHOLE SHEBANG. That’s right! How much is it worth for someone to carry another person’s child, have it in them for nine months, put their health and life in danger, go through all the changes and problems that can come with pregnancy, and then go through labor??? According to these folks, 22 grand. That’s what, if you do the math? $3.40 an hour?
And the kicker? It was listed under PART TIME jobs. Classy.
Because I swear, I have been eating a lot of fattening foods lately. Way more than I usually do. Like, way way more. Like went through two bags of tortilla chips more. Not cool. And been eating a lot of nuts. I know they’re good for you and all, but those things are fattening, chica.
You wanna know what I usually snack on? Cereal and milk. Milk and cereal. Fills me up, gives me my daily vitamins, non fattening, quite healthy. Wanna know what I can’t eat? MILK AND CEREAL!!!
I’m not trying to lose weight, but I expect to maintain my usual. But I gotta tell ya, if I’ve gained weight, I’m gonna be PISSED, Kathy. I didn’t do all this to have to diet AGAIN. I will come after you and force pastrami and bacon down your obscenely skinny throat. And you will cry, cry for the animals, and how delicious murder turns out to be.
I don’t remember what day of the cleanse I’m on now, but I haven’t cheated, not once! However, the term “Food Porn,” has taken on an entirely new meaning. Is this what men feel like when they’re in a relationship? “I’m sorry, it’s just– it was sweet and full of caffeine– it practically jumped on me!” God, I hope not. I guess as long as you’re getting what you really want it’s all good.
This particular recipe has everything I’m not supposed to eat in it, and it looks freakin’ AMAZING:
French Chocolate Brownie.
A Dorie Greenspan recipe found at EzraPoundCake.com
photo credit: EzraPoundCake.com
I know I’ve been prattling on and on about these mulberries, but it’s just so exciting to me. I found more places to get them, and a white mulberry tree too.
White mulberries look like this:
I’m lovin’ these benches:
I think something like them would look good with my dining room table, to accommodate lots of guests at dinner parties. Aren’t they pretty?
and lastly:
honeysuckle season is not over. Found a whole bunch creeping along a fence this evening.
peach tree, raspberry bush, blueberry bush, whatever that little blue flower was the other day, concord grape vine…
berries on the vine…
beautiful blue flower I don’t know the name of, but completely love…
sighting of wild grapes on the vine… I’ll have to keep an eye on these as summer progresses…
It may seem like I’m trekking off into the woods somewhere, but I’m not. These plants are found in the unkempt parts of my own neighborhood. I learned to keep an eye out during summers in the Cape, where those overgrown patches between houses often result in wild blueberries.
I don’t know what the deal is, but it is like I’ve in a freakin’ Bermuda Triangle of phone calls for months now. No one calls me back. Jobs I apply for, jobs I get second interviews for, places I volunteer for, even when my preciously concerned mother nagged me to the point of breaking to finally call a shrink to try and figure out whatever is keeping me from being my full self (she is REALLY good at nagging, she will beat the ever loving crap out of a dead horse, like that guy in Crime and Punishment), even THEY didn’t call me back. Then, of course, there are friends, and the man off the in land of twang. I think I could call someone and offer them an organ and I wouldn’t get a response. Seriously, what the fuck is going on? Enough already!
…while out for a morning stroll I found wild mulberries:
I ate them this morning with strawberries and oatmeal.
Day 3.
You might be wondering what the heck I’m eating on this cleanse thing, what with the no sugar, no caffeine, no alcohol, no gluten, no animal products restrictions. Yeah, I was wondering what the heck I was gonna do too, since those are basically all my food groups. But don’t worry, I’m not starving.
Along with salads, here’s a sampling of what I’ve been noshing on:
strawberries from the farmer’s market…
corn tortilla soup with a side of avocado slices topped with a sprinkle of lemon juice, salt, and pepper…
all natural Irish oatmeal with a whole fresh nectarine mixed in, and soy milk…
and my dinner tonight, Roasted Garlic and Herb Risotto.
This one required some creativity on my part, since the few other times I’ve made risotto there was wine and cream and cheese involved. And chicken stock. And butter. So… I skipped the wine step altogether, used veggie broth, roasted some garlic and pureed it with some fresh herbs, lemon juice, S&P, and olive oil into a thin paste. I mixed it into the risotto when it was three quarters of the way done. At the end I seasoned it to taste with fresh lemon juice, salt, and added a splash of soy milk as soon as I turned off the heat for added creaminess. It was really good!
Sometimes I think eating like this all the time wouldn’t be bad.
And then I see a cookie. Or a brownie. Or most importantly, chocolate.
And then I laugh and laugh.
…while walking down the street. Particularly West Broadway.
I’m diggin’ some of the work of painter Yuta Ishino:
…so last week I called my local HfH chapter and left a message on the appropriate voicemail, leaving all my info and letting them know I would like to volunteer. One week later, still have not heard back from them. WTF? Isn’t that what they want? People to give their time and energy to help them build houses? They have high school kids doing this for goodness sake! They can’t call me back? I have a hammer!
…saw the new Playstation commericial. Hate the graphics, but there is an odd if well played choice for the voice over: an edited excerpt from the Saint Crispin’s Day speech from Henry V. Interesting.
…saw the first of the season’s fireflies tonight. Still waiting to hear crickets and katydids.
Okay, I’m not exactly sure what the whole Quantum Wellness Cleanse is supposed to do for you, but giving up sugar, caffeine, gluten, alcohol, and animal products for just one day has definitely caused a shift of some sort in mind set. Mainly about food, thinking about how to prepare it, and starting to be more grateful for all of it and what I can make with it. And as a foodie and a cook that has lately lost her way, this seems like it is worth the effort, even if nothing else comes of it.
However, I have had some crazy ass cravings today, and I am not sure that I won’t put on weight during this thing, munching away on multi-grain chips and peanuts and fruit, trying to curb my appetite for chocolate and cookies (cookies? since when do I crave cookies?) with substitutes. Hopefully that won’t last.
I’m not sure if fake sugars count as sugar. I hope not. ‘Cause I bought a diet drink at the gas station today, and it felt naughty and luxurious. I drank it out of a wine glass. Because, crap, I can’t have any wine! Now, I bought two bottles and when I went to crack open the second one (I know, I’m quite the lush), I realized NO!!!! I can’t drink it!!! Why? It contains caffeine! The clear, fruity flavored zero calorie drink in a water bottle contains caffeine! How did this happen? Why didn’t I notice this? Because a side effect of this cleanse is that you spend an absurd amount of time trying to buy anything, since you are reading the nutritional information as carefully as a pre-nup, so people in small stores think you are a) lost, b) crazy, or c) shop lifting.
I kept looking at labels and putting things back, and finally the little old man who works there came over to me and asked if I needed any “help”. And I tried to explain I was looking for a sugar free, caffeine free drink, and it was okay, i would find it, and he suggested non-alcoholic beer. Thanks.
So now I’m all self conscience and I was so excited when I found the first drink that I just grabbed the other one without realizing it said ENERGY on the label, I just saw the raspberries. And now it’s sitting here, mocking me, boasting about how it has as much caffeine as a cup of coffee. A cup of freakin’ COFFEE.
That’s what I get for letting myself be politely bullied by little old men.
Dammit.
…my credit card went through when i bought a crazy amount of groceries for this new Oprah cleanse thingy I’m trying for oh I’ll see how long I can put up with it amount of time, since I have been feeling all icky– I guess I shouldn’t smoke during it, but hey, tobacco was not on the list of things not to consume, so… my internet is working! how flipping fantastic is that?… tortilla chips don’t count as gluten…
I get to see pretty things out my window on a regular basis:
… found out the gallery i interviewed at months ago and didn’t hear back from went through some major admin changes and is just now hiring for the position– so i reapplied.
… sleek and modern bookshelves too. They’re at the Kafka center in Prague, but who says you can’t have them in your house? Maybe they could reveal a hidden passageway to a state of the art kitchen with brand new Viking appliances… ooo… aah…
This is the worst note I’ve seen since the one outside of Chumley’s. Ick.
So, lately it seems that I have been able to just will things to happen, just like Oprah said. I needed the perfect dress and it appeared. I didn’t want to go on that awkward non date thing and I didn’t have too. I wanted that really attractive man who was way too old for me to ask me out and he did– oh what, you should have seen him. It would have made you smile too, even if you were a straight man. So, if I can make those things happen, how about oh you know, things like, the perfect job, and the person I want to be with, how about that? Huh? What do you say now, OPRAH?
Although, you know, I have been thinking for like months now how awesome it would be if we had a really good hot dog place in town and just two days ago I was walking by a store front and there is going to be a hot dog joint in my little town of antique stores and candy shops. And it hasn’t opened yet. So that’s like months of unconscious effort for hot dogs. The other thing could take awhile.
That’s probably what Oprah would say.
Give me a job in the meantime, dammit.
I have been a crazy, rambling, paranoid, questioning, pandora’s box this last week and the couple of friends that know the situation that is making me this way and for some reason just really affected me these past days have been completely baraged by my incencent babbling. I am so sorry. And they have been nothing but wonderful and supportive. Instead of telling me to shut the hell up and get over it or hog tying, gagging, and tossing me in a closet, they listened to me and talked to me for hours and hours. I am so lucky to have such amazingly awesome and tolerant people in my life. Thank you.
So, I have been feeling all sorts of icky for the past few days now.
“Why don’t you take some Dimetapp?” my mom suggested.
“Dimetapp? I don’t think I’ve taken that since I was seven. Besides, I don’t like taking stuff, you know that.”
“You’re miserable.”
“I know.”
Brief stare-off. My eyes are bothering me so I give.
“What’s it even for?”
“Nasal congestion, runny nose, itchy, watery eyes, coughing, sneezing.”
“Sign me up.”
Ok, so I took the recommended dosage, and yes, it was children’s, and I must say, “red grape” flavor sucks. I remember regular grape being like liquid candy.
Even so, Dimetapp is awesome. Not because I feel any better, because I don’t. My nose is still all stuffed up and my eyes are all still itchy. But the thing is, I don’t care.
And all that stuff I was all upset about yesterday and today? Also, not so concerned about it just now.
And I have a sudden urge to watch Two and A Half Men.
It’s the best I’ve felt all day. They really should keep this stuff under lock and key.
i’ve been feeling vaguely queasy since yesterday around 5. I just want everything to be good RIGHT NOW, I am so fucking tired of waiting.
the other day was my friend Kat’s birthday, so I made her petits fours.
It was an almond cake with strawberry preserves and I decorated some of them with sugared violets I’d picked on my walk earlier that day.
I got the recipe from Martha Stewart, but mine are slightly different. I used strawberry preserves instead of cherry, didn’t dye the icing, and sugared real violets instead of using candy flowers.
As with all Martha Stewart recipes, I advice thanking her for the ingredients and the steps and then throwing that picture out because nothing is ever going to make anything look that perfect, and I firmly believe she doesn’t want us to know how to come close to that perfection. I don’t have a square cookie cutter and I was not about to take out the ruler, so I eyeballed it. Also, the cake was thicker in some parts and thinner in others so trying to get perfectly square little petits fours was a challenge. But they taste good and they made my friend smile.
when I asked my mom what she thought of Danika Patrick, she responded, “she’s pretty friggin cool….” Love ya, mom.
after a few days of feeling generally optimistic and being productive, today just… i don’t know what the hell was wrong with me, i just could not get my shit together. All I could manage was getting the dishes done. Well, and picking out a song and getting together with my friend and practicing it and getting it transposed. And getting the ingredients for the present I’m planning to make my friend for her birthday. But still. I had a lot more to do. And I just felt like everything was SUCH an EFFORT today. Bleh.
Just saw a commercial for the new Chronicles of Narnia movie, Prince Caspian, which I am not going to see, but I have to say, I feel vindicated. I knew there was a reason I had a crush on Prince Caspian when I read this when I was little, and see? There is! Prince Caspian is hot. Well, a cutie at least.
I have a thing for libraries in general, in particular libraries in people’s homes. It’s a dream to have one in my own place and I will one day. In the meantime, I drool over the possibilities. This one, located in Paris, posted today on ApartmentTherapy.com, one of my favorite websites, is particularly awesome. Love the library, hate the light fixture.
oh, yes I’m singing the song from The Brady Bunch. And now I’m going to post a bunch of pictures of flowers. Because it was THAT beautiful out today.
Wintergreen Lifesavers are not cigarettes but they might be just as addictive.
I knew it was all just to make me miserable. All that noise is totally unnecessary. Just look: Whisper Landscape Maintenance
I don’t care how long that grass grows, I don’t care if the neighborhood is overcome with dandelions and thigh-high lawns and each little plot looks like its own private prairie with a fence around it and an SUV parked next to it. Maybe then it would look like the SUV has some purpose. But please, please, whoever is mowing the freaking grass and has been for the last three hours, I beg you to stop. Because I have things to do, and those things require concentration, and because of you instead of being productive on this lovely, sunny day, I have been hiding in the dark with my head under a pillow with a migraine, most recently thinking of what I could hurl from my window at your head that would hit you with enough force that you would need to stop mowing but not knock you unconscious because then that engine would be left running indefinitely.
To celebrate the sudden bout of extremely lovely weather my friend, her daughter, and I took a trip to Woodstock, NY. We had a very relaxing, enjoyable time. It was just nice to be away, and for me, to be somewhere new. And my friend’s 10 year old was psyched to have, “a day out with the girls.”
Although there were stores I had to leave because I was choking on the incense (”It’s okay,” said my friend’s daughter when I confessed to her while we were waiting outside for her mom, “I had to leave that other store cause the smell was making me sneeze.”), there were lots of places to see, and good company too.
There was a really beautiful shop called Chez Grand’mere, which bills itself as a french general store, and is full of antiques and odds and ends and has a candy counter as well.
I was intrigued by these plates:
We stopped into the WAAM Contemporary Art Gallery. Here are my two favorites:
a terrible picture of Susan J. Griffin’s beautiful, Smiley Sleeps. Sorry ’bout the reflections.
Charlotte Scherer, A Destination
Among other places we stopped was a place called Ondine, which sells organic cosmetics and makeup (some really lovely stuff), perfumes, and a small amount of pristine vintage clothing. I picked up a dress from the rack that was from 1940s and held it up. It looked like it would fit and my friend said I should try it on. When I came out of the dressing room, everyone gasped. It fit like it was tailored to me. I hemmed and hawed but I couldn’t leave it behind. It is now hanging in my closet.
We ate at Joshua’s Cafe, where my friend and I both had the Vegan Ravioli which was stuffed with pine nuts, wild mushrooms, artichoke hearts, asparagus, olive oil, garlic, and rosemary, but since neither of us are vegan, we had it topped with a tomato cream sauce. It was good. I also enjoyed it because a few minutes after we got there a family came in with three, count ‘em, three screaming children, and the waitstaff was politely rude enough to them that they left within ten minutes. Awesome. Mind you, the restaurant was not unfriendly to families. At the time there were three tables there with children seated at them, including ours. The kids just didn’t happen to be banshees in disguise.
When we did leave it was right at sunset, perfect timing.
so, i chopped my hair off on Friday and I love it. I’ve worn it blown out and straight for the past two days, but my hairdresser swore to me that I could let my hair dry naturally (wavy/curly) and it would still look awesome. So today I tried it and I was really pleased. It looks completely different, kinda old school, and I was feeling a little like Marilyn Monroe or Shalom Harlow, neither of whom are bad to feel like while you go about your day.
I was feeling good.
That is, until I saw my parents, who were their usual undermining selves. And then did not, as usual, understand why I was upset, and then told me how I had such a problem. And then I was all, “See?” And they were like, “What?”
And then I a) took some chocolate from my mom’s “secret” stash because she is nasty and deserves it, which is childish of me but better than calling her what is in my head, and b) left without showing them the dress I am very excited about, which is reason I went over there in the first place, because my mom wanted to see it. I didn’t want that to be ruined too.
I just feel like we are stuck in this cycle because they never hear me and everything is always my fault or my problem and I always have to apologize for my “behavior” and they never take responsibility or apologize. So nothing is ever resolved. It just goes on forever. And the thing is, I used to buy into it, that it was my fault, that there was something wrong with me, but I realized I have been hearing the same damn things since I was old enough to understand sentences, and you know what, at three years old, not my problem, not my fault. It cannot always be me every single time.
Pants optional on May 2, 2008, making casual Friday super casual. That’s right, for those rebels without a cause, here’s one to latch on to, because, really, why the hell not? Join in the fight to make National No Pants Day a recognized holiday, or just have some fun. Official website: No Pants Day
There have been clips of the Young @ Heart Chorus floating around YouTube for awhile now, and after looking them up I am not surprised to learn that this bunch of rock and roll singing seniors that are now featured in their own Fox Searchlight movie are based in Northampton, Massachusetts. Where else would you find such vibrant, odd, passionate people willing to unabashedly put themselves out in public without giving a damn what other people think?
After watching their interview on the Tonight Show with Jay Leno, Jean Florio, 84, is my new inspiration. She is sharp as a tack, works on hot air balloon crews, flies, kayaks, and rides horses. And sings rock and roll in front of crowds without dying her hair. She is freakin’ awesome.
Scrambled eggs with cottage cheese and pineapple are awesome.
did you just watch the Democratic debate or did you watch American Idol instead?
In this month’s issue of Vanity Fair, they asked Frida Giannini, the creative director of Gucci, to answer the following questions in the section, “My Stuff.” I decided to answer the questions myself, and post it as an obnoxious or interesting questionnaire for all to use.
HOME
Favorite Art: painting by someone special Sheets: now that it’s getting warm, crisp cotton Coffee Maker: French Press Stationary: not particular to one brand, like too many Pets: my cat Favorite Flowers: Ranunculus, daffodils, lilacs, water lilies Favorite Cocktail: Sidecar Favorite Dessert: Chocolate Favorite Gadget: iPod
INSPIRATIONS
Favorite Accessory: my grandmother’s bracelet Favorite Designer: don’t have one Favorite Discovery: a big beautiful shell i found on the beach, weathered by the ocean What or Who Inspires You: the universe, Robert Hass, Kate Blanchett, any movie or tv show or piece or theatre that is well done, good writing, Heather Armstrong, interesting photography, passionate people, good food Necessary Extravagance: eating out and buying good groceries Favorite Place in the World: I don’t know. Western Mass. Or the beach. Favorite Charity: I don’t know yet, but I like this site a lot: Free Rice.
BEAUTY PRODUCTS
Lipstick: L’Oreal Mascara: Estee Lauder Shampoo: something I got at Trader Joe’s Moisturizer: Aveeno or just pure aloe Hair Product: Garnier Perfume: Sabon Nail Polish: very pale pink
CLOTHES
Jeans: I’m not particular to a brand Underwear: not saying Sneakers: Saucony Tshirt: JCrew Bag: Dooney & Bourke
Everyone says to get up early, then you’ll have the whole day… and I have been and you know what, it is just not how I function. I get up, I putter around, I eat some breakfast, and I stare out the window and half function for HOURS, waiting for my thoughts to catch up and make sense, because I am just not a morning person. I mean, sure it’s nice to wake up and see the day start and have some coffee and listen to the radio, maybe read the paper… like on a Sunday. But my brain does just not properly form thoughts until 10. I’m completely faking it until then. And really I hit my stride late afternoon into the night. But when I wake up so damn early I’m so tired by the time I actually have ideas and drive, like RIGHT NOW, that I have to go to sleep.
So tomorrow I say, screw it. I’m sleeping in. Bets are on, I’ll get more done.
I don’t want a worm. I want a luna moth.
I just opened a jar of applesauce by myself.
It’s kind of comforting to know I don’t need a certain someone around, it would just be really nice if he were.
if I could hire someone to put the fear of god into people that don’t RSVP, I’d do it.
I’m over at my parents’ place and I’m talking to my mom, when all of a sudden–
“Mom! Oh my god! This song I wrote when I was like eight just started playing in my head! It’s all Debbie Gibson-inspired and it’s really really bad and pop with synthesizers and stuff. I can hear all the instruments! I can’t believe I remembered this after all this time. I forgot all about it. Wanna hear the lyrics?”
“At the commerical. My show is back on.”
“Mom, this was erased from my memory for at least 15 years. I don’t know if I’ll remember by then.”
“Well, the show is on. What do you want me to do?”
And then I whacked her upside the head with the remote. Not really. But it was considered.
My cat is very excited about spring. That’s because there is a tree outside his favorite window that the birds like to sit in, and when he hears even a flutter of wings he freaks out, zooms across the apartment and comes to a sliding halt in front of the window, trying to hide behind the chair, and stalks the little singing things with great interest… until a ray of sunshine or another noise catches his attention. He’s a little ADD.
I’m happy about the birds too, in particular a pair of morning doves that have decided to favor the trees outside my bedroom windows. I think they are a good sign. There is a pair that comes back every year and sits on the telephone wires outside my parents’ bedroom window. I guess they aren’t the same birds, it must be their offspring at this point, but there has always been a pair there, spring through early fall, since I was a little kid, cooing away.
Sometimes a good cry is just needed. A good, let it all out, not even thinking, just letting go cry.
Yesterday at work the motherly secretary asked me, “Are you okay? You look like you just got beat up.”
“What?” I asked. As far as I knew my clothes were not torn, my hair was mostly in place, and I did not have any blood or dirt on my person.
“You’re all hunched over, like you were punched in the stomach.”
“Oh, uh, I’m just cold.”
And I was, cold, but she’s not the first to say something about that. Not quite like that, but people have said my shoulders are all tense, I’m curled up in a ball, etc. And then they ask if I’m okay.
I thought I’d been acting fine, if not particularly jovial.
My body is giving me away.
This evening I tossed a boxful of tokens from my ex-boyfriend of years ago, the one who broke my heart. I didn’t toss the whole thing out at once, either. Oh no. I wanted know exactly what I was throwing out. I read those little notes saved that were left on the bedside table and pillows, the cards from anniversaries and holidays, the postcards, looked at the little tokens and knew what they were from– and I threw it all away.
Because it’s fucking time.
I did it with the plants too. I had plants that we’d bought when we were together and I threw them away. And that stupid cup that I for some reason had from his private school.
That stuff didn’t really bother me, but I was living with it. And I just turned around the other day and decided, you all have got to go.
I feel like I’m making space.
My boss was being bitchy to me today, not because of anything I did, but because of how things are in the place we work and because today we had, quote, “not just any people,” coming in. They were “important”.
Do I watch [television show taken off the air fifteen years ago]?, I was asked.
Um, no. I said.
Really?
Nope. I said. I wanted to say my parents had but didn’t think it was appropriate viewing for a five year old.
Well, the stars are going to be here.
The STARS. Of a show that hasn’t aired in a million years? That no one cares about anymore? That’s terrific! They ARE important. Be as bitchy as you want.
People ask why I don’t smile anymore at work.
woke up in time to move my car; successfully parallel parked; a dove landed on my windowsill
So, Easter with the fam. For the most part surprisingly pleasant. I managed to successfully ignore the nasty comments from my sister; managed not to slap everyone telling me I look too thin, I look sick, am I eating, am I sure, I don’t have an eating disorder do I, and then restrained from pouring the gravy I just made on their heads after hearing my mother say that they are all going on a diet, including my sister. Great, then leave me alone. To eat my chocolate in peace.
And then politics came up. It was my fault, I admit. But I didn’t mean for it to be a political conversation. My father does a lot of public speaking in his line of work and I wanted to know what he thought of Obama’s speech.
“Didn’t see it.”
“Oh, you should watch it. It’s really good.”
“Don’t need to.”
“What? Why not?”
“I know what it said.”
“Well, no you don’t. You didn’t hear it, you just said so. You just heard snips on the news and read about it in the paper. That’s not the whole thing.”
“Did you hear McCain’s speech?”
“On what?”
“He gave a speech the other day. Did you listen to that?”
“No. What was it about? Was it something that people are going to be talking about for generations to come regardless of the outcome of the election?”
“You really think that people will talk about this for generations?”
“Parts of it, yeah. I think they’ll quote it. It’s a really good speech. You should listen to it.”
“I know what I need to.”
So frustrating.
When I woke up this morning, the jingle from the Nintendo Cereal commercial was in my head.
while most people watch the 10 Commandments, I always found that a little too scary. Growing up, I watched Easter Parade. It’s still one of my favorites.
Here’s the ending:
It seems that this ABC special on prostitution is airing tonight after two years of putting it together and Diane Sawyer has been plugging it like crazy. Which means that somewhere in the background for probably a very short bit of time will be my voice singing “ahhh” and sounding all airy and sad and nothing at all like my normal singing voice– if they decided to use that bit of music. We shall see.
But part of my upbringing and just the awareness that there are a huge amount of people for whom today (Good Friday) is of religious importance make me feel like just maybe this isn’t the best evening to air this, ABC. I mean I know it’s just super timing with all the scandals but really… it makes me feel just a little icky inside, and I’m probably not the only one. Especially since I don’t even go to church anymore.
so, i went to the eye doctor yesterday and apparently i need a weaker prescription. like my eyes got stronger. which is crazy. and awesome. and i didn’t know that was possible. but i’ll just ignore the fact that someone could be making a mistake and be psyched about it. because that means instead of being more blind, i’m less blind and that is freakin’ great.
seriously, who would ever think this was a good idea? who would be the jackass who would buy and then wear these things?
http://www.thedailyswarm.com/swarm/kurt-cobain-converse-custom-kicks-coming/
just saw a special on New Zealand and now hiking the Milford Track has been added to things I want to do….
http://www.newzealand.com/travel/about-nz/features/great-walks/nine-great-walks/milford-track.cfm
well, some of it.
there are some great free downloads on this page from The Small Object:
http://thesmallobject.com/stenopad/wordpress/?page_id=58
I’m particularly fond of these mailing labels…
…and plan on using them asap.
The thumb wrestling championship belts are pretty cool too.
You can check out the other works and products here: The Small Object
my brain is channeling airwaves of music I never listen to. Right now I have a strange combination of U2’s “One Love” and Wilson Phillip’s, “Hold On” in my head.
I guess it’s positive. In its own I’m in line at a gas station sort of way.
want it.
